Blinded By Love
by BritaChica
Summary: A songfic to Caprice: Once Around The Sun. Slash Nothing graphic Sirius/Peter. Sirius remembers the past after he sees Peter in that newspaper. *re-written, well, not oo different actually but better spelling/grammer and some changes.*


Blinded By Love by Brita*Chica 

A/N: Updated version, don't know why I updated it other than I am on fic-writing-overdrive so, here is the fic: WARNING- This is Slash, it is not graphic but is something with Peter Pettigrew being anything but a scheming rat. Anyway, please review. 

Disclaimer: I own the plot. J. K. Rowling owns Harry Potter characters and settings. Caprice owns the song. 

_Second by second, minute by minute, I've been missing you. _

_Hour by hour, on top of my tower, I've been missing you._

The cell was cold. Azkaban didn't exactly have heating. That would have been too much of a luxury. To much of a luxury for prisoners like me. Ones who killed their friends without any remorse. Ones so cold-blooded that other prisoners were scared of them. I didn't want to be in here. Peter was at Hogwarts, which meant that he could hurt Harry if ever the opportunity arose. I had to escape. I knew what I would have to do after that. I would have to kill the only guy I ever loved. It wouldn't be too much of a big deal. Other than when I was asleep. 

I saw the Dementor outside my cell. All I had to do was transform into Padfoot and I would be free. Not now though. The Dementor was ridding me of all good thoughts once more. Making me delve deep into my memories. 

_365 days of a broken heart. _

_12 full months just wondering where you are. _

_And I've paid for what I've done, and I've made it through. _

_It just took once around the sun to get over you._

"Oh." 

"See, he loves it. Told ya he would." 

It was Christmas. It had been James who had given me the present. I had got the one present that noone wants. Socks. Blasted socks. They weren't even nice ones. They were lime green and made of a very thin material. Apparently, when you grew up all you got for Christmas was socks. I had told the rest of the Marauders this once. They had all laughed at me for days after. 

"Fooled you." James said, handing me my proper present. 

I unwrapped it and looked at it. It was something to do with quidditch. I wasn't paying much attention to anything. 

Remus noticed the look on my face. "Don't worry. I'm sure he'll turn up." 

"Moony's right. What could be more important than Christmas?" 

_Letter by letter, never got better, when I was missing you._

_Stuck in my sorrow, never dreamed of tomorrow, when I was missing you._

"Where were you earlier?"  
"Hmm?" 

"You missed Christmas lunch."  
"Really. I...I don't remember." 

"It was really funny. Harry tried to grab some turkey and he dropped it on the floor and..." 

"Does this story have a point?" 

"No." 

"How come your telling me it then?" 

"Bored." 

I looked at him expectantly. He sighed. 

"Wanna snuggle." 

"Okay." I said. Letting him hug me as I fell asleep. 

_365 days of a broken heart._

_12 full months just wondering where you are._

_And I've paid for what I've done and I've made it through._

_It just took once around the sun to get over you._

"What doyou think about Remus?" 

"Pardon?" 

"Well, Dumbledore recons that someone is giving you-know-whoinformation on Lily and James and Harry." 

"What makes you think that it's Remus." 

"I don't know. Just a feeling. I doubt their giving information on themselves, I'm not doing it and unless you keep secrets from me you're not thetraitor, but think about it, I'm not prejudiced but I reckon that Moony's wolf side could have led him into being evil. What do you think?" 

"I think you might be onto something. You should, urmm, watch him. See if he does anything suspicious." 

"Okay then. I will. Just glad I'm not the only person who thinks he might be the traitor. 

_At the time, I treated you bad._

_Before all the tears, I never knew what I had._

_I was wrong, I just have to say._

_I've finally moved on, so I won't miss you today._

"I'm not sure. I can't really think of Remus being the traitor. Are you sure about this?" 

"Don't know. What if he is though? He knows that I'm your secret keeper. If he gives that information over to you-know-who... Don't get me wrong. Under no amount of torture would I sell you out but what if he puts me under a truth-telling curse or something?" 

"Could use Peter." Lily suggested. I hadn't thought of this. I was going to suggest Dumbledore but you-know-who wouldn't think of Peter. It was the perfect ploy. 

_Second by second, minute by minute, I've been missing you._

_365 days of a broken heart._

_12 full months just wondering where you are._

_And I've paid for what I've done._

_And I've made it through._

_It just took once around the sun to get over you._

I realised what I had done too late. I had killed Lily and James. I was running towards the house as Padfoot, not caring if anyone saw me, not caring that my limbs were on fire, that I could hardly breathe. That if I was Human I would sit down in the street and cry forever. I wouldn't be able to stop. I didn't understand. Why didn't I see that it had been Peter. That it had been Peter all along. Why did I let him become secret-keeper. Why did I sell my friends lives away. I knew the answer but I didn't want to admit it. 

I had been blinded by love. Unable to see what was going on right in front of my eyes. 

Harry was still alive. Hagrid told me before flying off to take Harry to his Aunt and Uncle's. I knew why. Dumbledore thought that I was the secret-keeper. Not Peter. He thought that I had killed them. 

I had. 

I stood in a crowded street. The place was full of muggles. Anytime soon the ministry wizards would show up. I had to do it now. I had to kill him. He stood across the street from me, mocking me with his eyes alone. I was ready to attack him when he suddenly yelled that I had killed Lily and James, blew the street apart and transformed into a rat. 

The ministry found me less than a minute later. Suddenly, everything was too much. Peter's betrayal. Lily's death. James's death. Almost certainly Azkaban. It was all too much. I did the only thing I knew how to. 

I laughed. 

And laughed. 

And laughed. 

_Once around the sun._

_Once around the sun._

_Once around the sun._

_It just took once around the sun to get over you._

A/N: I hope you liked it. Do not hate me for the pairing. I am, alas, one of them people, who hate Pettigrew but do not believe in pure evil, and so can not ignore him from the world of writing fics like so many do. 

I would like to apologise to any Sirius/Remus shippers that consider themselves the most offended of all. Flame me if you want but I would prefer it if you reviewed. 


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